Jabber.Jawtoo many jaws jabber
idonttripmidgets
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Name: Jabber.Jaw
Birthday: 4/1/1982


Interests: Food
Expertise: Food
Occupation: Assistant Planner
Industry: Urban Planning


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AIM: idonttripmidgets


Member Since: 1/11/2003

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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Child of Mother Nature

Anyone remember Malibu from American Gladiators?

 

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If you know anything about me, you'd know that I LOVE meat.  I love me a perfectly marbled, thick, and juicy medium rare steak seasoned and grilled to perfection.  Check this out, Stacey showed it to me yesterday and I instantly fell in love:

 

BNDG-1635


Monday, February 23, 2009

Nerd Dopeness

For you Star War fans out there:

 

at-at13

at-at11

at-at07

at-at06

3a1


Thursday, January 08, 2009

So I'm at work and decided that I was going to blog and make it a pretty good one, only I was interrupted and now I've lost my creative juice.  Since my plans have been foiled, I'll just do the lazy blog like this:

David ‘Geeve Starvey’ Sotelo & Michael ‘my baby’s Mama’ Serrano, rest your souls brothas.

   Mike got into a pretty bad car accident on the morning of December 29, 2008.  Apparently his best friend James lost control of the car and struck a guard rail and the car rolled a few times.  Mike was ejected out of the car and pronounced dead at the scene.  Can you imagine killing your best friend?  And honestly, I think alcohol was involved because I know they were partying somewhere that night.  They were actually supposed to meet up with us @ Modus for Analeen's bday, but they ended up somewhere else.  Everyone was kinda wondering where Mike was and how come he didn't go (you would expect him to be there considering who was all there) and the next morning, we got the news.  But again, there was alcohol involved, or at least that's my assumption.  Some people can be mad at James for that, but for me, personally, I don't blame him.  It just as easily could have happened the other way where Mike was driving, you know?  I know this is a touchy subject, but that's just how I feel about it.  A lot of us trust our friends to drive even if they've been drinking a little bit, or even a lot of bit, but that's just how life goes.  God, which ever God you believe in, has a plan, and some leave earlier than others; it's inevitable. 

Mike and I weren’t like best of buds or anything, but we had that bromance thing kinda going on.  I remember when Kat & Barry got married, after the wedding rehearsal, me, Mike, Meg, Mip, and Kaleb went walking around downtown SD to kill time for the dinner.  Kaleb is Mip’s son and he was holding hands with Mike and I, and we were swinging him around.  Funny thing is that Mike and I were both wearing polo shirts and sunglasses, so kinda matching in a way and had a kid between us.  There was a gay couple that saw us while they were eating outside on a patio of a restaurant and one of the guys says to his boyfriend, “Oh look, they have one!”  So in other words, they thought that we were gay and adopted a child.  Hahaha, ever since then, Mike has been my baby’s Mama.

babys daddy

Geeve’s 3 year death anniversary was this past January 4th.  I took a drive out to Riverside Memorial to pay him a visit and lit up a little j to sit and talk with him.  He used to always talk about how we were both planning on keeping our cars and still smoke herb when we’re lolo’s (grandpa’s).  I don’t know why, but he used to talk about that a lot haha.  So every time I go to visit him, which is twice a year, I either bring him a Black & Mild, which is something he liked to smoke, or a J and just burn it n have a heart to heart.  Now by heart to heart I mean talking nonsense, telling him about what’s going on in my life, girls, food, work, friends, family, hot sauce, washing machines, floss, unicorns, poop, AC Slater, etc.  It was a good visit as always.   

Geeve visit  

Cemetary

We all gotta go sometime, apparently this was his time.  It just goes to show you that life is short man.  Please, DO NOT take shit for granted and live life to its fullest potential.  I've lost a few close friends of mine and they were all in their 20's man.  I've been thinking a lot about life lately because of these things and decided that any opportunity I have to do something, I'm going to do it.  Even if it means lack of sleep or even no sleep and work the next day, I’m doin’ it.  As for all of my friends and family, I'm going to try to hold closer to me to let them know how much they mean to me, because life IS short.

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On another note, I’ll be heading out to Chicago from the 16th – 19th.  I heard it’s about 27 degrees, but feels like 7 degrees.  WHAT THE FUCK?  This Cali boy is gonna freeze his fuckin’ badunkadunk off mang.  I’m gonna look like an idiot with 64 layers of sweaters and 3 pairs of shoes on, watch.  But the reason for the trip is that Assembly Line Artists are throwing an art show called Slow Burning, so of course I’m going out there to support like a jockstrap.  It should be real dope, so if you know anyone in the area, please spread the word like eagle.  We're renting a condo out there, so it's awwwn!  And like I mentioned earlier, I’m taking every opportunity that comes my way now, so Chicago, here I come!  CHHHHHI-TOOOOWWWN!!

SB_FRONTweb    SB_backweb

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If you haven’t already, go check out Pershing Square.  They have an outdoor ice skating thang goin’ on out there.  Went out there with Charity aka Panqueque (pancake en Espanol) n company, it was pretty fun; I kinda wanna go out there again haha.  I mean, it’s not really the biggest rink, but it’s pretty damn cheap, and it’s just kinda cool being outside in LA and ice skating.

Pershing Square  

Been hangin’ with that girl a lot lately.  Most definitely good times.  She’s super buff though, I think her calves are bigger than mine.  I think her guns are bigger than mine.  I think her wang is bigger than mine too.

pancakes

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My San Diego Super Chargers are due to take on the Pittsburgh Steelers this Sunday!!!!  Goodbye Colts, you guys got served.  Steelers, you’re next!  Here's my boy Sproles cuttin' up some turf.  If you know anything about this motherfucker, you would know that he's only 5'6" and 181 lbs.  He looks like a little baby when he's on the field next to all the dudes that are like 6'4" or like 360 lbs.  But he's FAST!!  Quick fact about him, his parents nicknamed him "Tank".  Funny huh?  Imagine meeting a dude that's 5'6" named tank.  Now imagine that same guy as a new born baby weighing 10 lbs at birth!  Ahhh, make sense now, doesn't it?

DarrenSproles  

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Oh Jackie Munoz (like how I type out her entire name so she or her cousin can Google it and make fun of me?), I really like your new shirt.  I wonder how many people on Karmaloop have bought it already?  I’m sure it wasn’t available for that 60% off sale you guys had because it’s a limited edition, right?  You wear it well, girl.  Do yo thang.  DO.  YO.  THANG.

Kissedzoom1

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Told you this was a weak ass post.  Sorry, I’ll make it up next time.  Next time Gadget, next time.

PBF113-Shotgun  

 


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Birthday Hey Zeus

 Just something to put everyone in the holiday mood...

 

PBF079-Christmas_Surgery 

 


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Favorite Craig's List listing of the year...

Manly Bike for Sale


Date: 2008-07-22, 10:18AM PDT

Bike for sale

What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".

The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.

The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.

I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:

Gear 1 - Sissy Gear
Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear
Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear
Gear 4 - Boy Gear
Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear
Gear 6 - Manly Gear
Gear 7 - Big Muscles Gear

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.

Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".

Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)
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Living Room loungin'...
 
Living Room   



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